The sibling rivalry has become an epic battle of wits. Disagreements are often solved either with screaming–in which I get to intervene before it becomes hitting–or rock, paper, scissors. You’d think the 6 year old would hold the upper hand here, but the 4 year old knows how to strategize, and wins the battle 4 [...]
Preparing my older child for her preschool’s field trip to the Dairy Farm, I asked her if she knew where milk comes from. She replied, “Oh, yes. I know where milk comes from. You pull on the cow’s vulva, and the milk comes out!”
I, of course, then snarfed my coffee, spilling it down the front [...]
“Look over there, at those trees. Those are polar bear trees. *points to a row of evergreen trees* Yep. There are polar bears in the trees. And they go “Roar!” But they’re nice polar bears. Look, there’s a mommy, and a daddy, and a Laurel, and a Kelsey tree. And look, there’s a Jeffy tree!” [...]
Horse (Kelsey) to Cow (Laurel):“Hey, I have an idea. Let’s get a beer and then go to sheep’s birthday party!”
Cow to Horse: Yeah, let’s go get a beer! C’mon, let’s go!”
The most intriguing conversation ever, overheard while driving somewhere in New Hampshire. The conversants: Kelsey (4.25 years old), Brandon (4.5 years old), Laurel (2.5 years old):
Kelsey (holding up her puppy, Go-go):“Do you want to smell my bum?”Brandon:“Ewwww. Smells like poo poo!”Laurel:“Can I smell your bum, Go-go?”“Ewww. It smells like poo poo!”All:“Ewww”
Lather, rinse, and repeat. This [...]
We get home from swimming at the Y, making it home after a hellacious thunderstorm. The dog, of course, peed on the floor. In the office. Right there <– actually.
I put a big thirsty towel over the pee (BIG dog. BIG bladder *sigh*) and danced on it for a minute. Then, I filled the [...]
Kelsey: “I’m not ‘Kelsey’ anymore. My name is ‘Cloud’. That’s spelled with an ‘R’.” And Laurel’s not ‘Laurel’ anymore. she’s ‘Pup’.”
Cloud: “Right, Pup?”
Laurel (not Pup): “No.”
Cloud: “And your name isn’t ‘Mommy’ anymore. It’s ‘Frog’.”
Cloud: “And this isn’t the green truck anymore. His name is… ‘Pogobouncer’!”
In South Station, while dining on chicken nuggets and french fries, Kelsey spotted one of the feathered tenants that inhabit the old building.
Kelsey: “Daddy, what’s that pigeon’s name?”Allen: “Well, if I had to guess, I’d imagine his name is ‘pigeon’.”
Kelsey and Laurel, inspecting the contents of Laurel’s poopy diaper:
Kelsey: “It’s ginormous! It’s a volcano!”Laurel: “No, it’s not a volcano. It’s a mountain. It’s a rock. It’s a volcano rock.”
Kelsey: “The clouds must be making cards, for their Grammie! They will be so proud!”
It was thundering and threatening to rain when K came out with this. I have no idea where she got it.
