Oh, how I hunger for a well marbled hunk of beef carcass, grilled to medium rare, topped with an inch of boursin and dropped on to my plate. And butter on my bread. My mouth waters at the thought.
My gall bladder sucks big stinking monkey balls.
I’m back on the fat-free diet in my increasingly rather [...]
On most nights, we wear sexy, expensive lingerie and have the candles burning, romantic music playing in the background, satin sheets and flattering lighting. And he serves me chocolates in bed before giving me a massage, leading into hot lovemaking that goes on all night long.
That’s love, right?
Despite what Disney convinced me in my youth, [...]
Sometimes I wonder why the divorce rate is so high in our country. And then I remember that, oh yeah, it’s because some folks can’t see the humor.
If you get it, if you understand that sometimes your husband, or your lover, or your *insert significant other’s title* will say something that will just blow you [...]
A flock of spastic flamingoes, chasing a black-and-white spotted ball around a field. That’s what my child’s soccer team is.
And Kelsey is basically the team cheerleader, disguised as one of the players. She follows around after the kids who have the ball, on whichever team, just to be in the fray, in the moment. [...]
Play is the work of children.
You hear this saying everywhere: children’s museum, indoor playgrounds, preschools, theme parks. Everywhere you go where they take your money so that your child can play work for the profit of some business. You go to one of those kid-oriented restaurants, and there’s a guy in a rat’s suit just [...]
I gave up coffee last week. *takes sip of coffee*. Yeah, it didn’t stick.
Every so often, I feel the need to gain some control over my various addictions. None of them are particularly dangerous, unless you consider the side effect of ultra-crankiness to be dangerous. If I’ve had four cups of coffee in a [...]
I work out. I mean, I’m not thin, but you wouldn’t mistake me for a walking barn or anything either. I’ve got curves, some in places that used to be a bit flatter, but, hey, I’ve had two kids. And like chocolate. And I take my coffee with extra extra. That’s Dunkin Donuts-ese for “too [...]
The New York Times in January ran a story about parents who blog, and there have been a lot of comments regarding the article on the mommy blogs I check out regularly. So I thought I’d add mine. I’m sure all of my 8 or so readers have been dying to read my reaction!
The American [...]
I’m up again at 6 a.m. so I can write a few words with both hands. Usually, when I get on the computer, Kelsey wants to sit on my lap and bang away on the keyboard. Just like her father. Well, not that HE sits on my lap when he bangs on the computer…. Eh, [...]
Week one has passed, and I think I’ve lost most of my pregnancy weight already. I guess that makes sense, as I barely have time to eat and I’m always on the run. Something else has passed, too. Yes, I was finally able to evacuate the ole’ colon. You men might snicker, and, well, the [...]
