Category Archives: Bad Mommy Day

Growth Spurt

I’m not Terry. I’m a befuddled, sleep-deprived, tousled-hair, dried-up, coffee-needing, starving husk of woman whose baby is not taking in nourishing breastmilk all night long, but instead sucking brain cells OUT THROUGH HER NIPPLES. And I know I’m not the … Continue reading

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They are eating my brain

Day 5 of single parenting, and I have decided that I would rather be a Las Vegas showgirl than a single mother. I can’t believe I just said those words. And to all the moms and dads out there who … Continue reading

Posted in *sigh*, Bad Mommy Day | 3 Comments

How was YOUR morning?

Today, I am full of fail. But I can’t blame anyone but myself. I must exude fail today, like a musk, and everything that encounters my failstench has to make with the bashing. Or something. The morning routine does not … Continue reading

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Not safe for work. Or anywhere.

Oh, how I hunger for a well marbled hunk of beef carcass, grilled to medium rare, topped with an inch of boursin and dropped on to my plate. And butter on my bread. My mouth waters at the thought. My … Continue reading

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A Letter to My Boss #23

First Draft: I apologize profusely for being late for work this morning. It’s the 3-year-old’s lion’s special book’s fault. *blink* OK, here’s the long story: I frantically jetted out the door at 8:30 this morning to go to the post … Continue reading

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