Sometimes I wonder why the divorce rate is so high in our country. And then I remember that, oh yeah, it’s because some folks can’t see the humor.

If you get it, if you understand that sometimes your husband, or your lover, or your *insert significant other’s title* will say something that will just blow you away, and if you can see the funny in it, you’re safe. YOU understand that you share a level of intimacy with someone that allows for the exchange of even the stupidest of remarks. You can even use such remarks to your advantage, get some use out of them.

In the dynamic with my husband, such exchanges happen. He is my best friend, and I understand that, between guys, there are fewer filters. Guys, when talking to other guys, can say things that are downright insulting with total impunity. So I know that sometimes my adoring husband will treat me like he would treat one of his guy friends and just let something fly verbally that wouldn’t normally be allowed past his lips. I can forgive him when he says things like “It seems like you’re always on your period” (from December of 1999) or “Those pants look a little small on you” (October 2001) or “Wow, you are SO boobylicious” (when my breasts were humongously engorged after the birth of our first child in March 2002).

I never forget. And I keep a running tally. But the important thing is that I can giggle about it. It’s damn hard to put up with sharing your space and your life with another human. The fairytale weddings end in ugly divorces mostly because two people can’t make all the components to a functional intimate relationship work, by seeing marriage as an adventure AND as something to work on. And, most important, as a source for intimacy and an endless font of things to laugh at.

Trackback Post