I gave up coffee last week. *takes sip of coffee*. Yeah, it didn’t stick.

Every so often, I feel the need to gain some control over my various addictions. None of them are particularly dangerous, unless you consider the side effect of ultra-crankiness to be dangerous. If I’ve had four cups of coffee in a small amount of time, that’s bordering on unsafe. I get dangerously bitchy and twitchy.

But I’ve recently grappled with my psyche for control over caffeine once again by reigning it in and going back to moderating. Damn it. And it makes me think a lot about such things as addiction, and what types of behavior we decide fall into this category.

In grad school, I drank alcohol to excess on regular occasions. But, as my husband argued in a sociology paper once, such behavior isn’t really classified as alcoholic when one is in college. It’s just… being in college. That same behavior, when applied outside the context of college would be called alcoholism. I’m not being clinical here. I’m not in the mood to support my claims with scientific research. Hey, it’s my blog.

I hear a lot of women claim that they are addicted to chocolate, and they always say this with a giggle. Sometimes it’s a nervous giggle, with that junkie glint in their eyes, but usually it’s a harmless way to say “yeah, I LOVE THE HELL out of chocolate.” Few of these women are, I believe, actually suffering from an addiction to chocolate.

It’s also much more politic to say one has an “addiction” to something rather than a “fetish”, because that latter word is taboo! It’s sexy! Here’s a few definitions for fetish, from dictionary.com:

fet·ish also fet·ich    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (ftsh, ftsh)

n.

1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the
   body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual
   gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

See? This word is so much more fun than the word addiction. I could say that I have a stationery fetish, and it could either mean I only get off if there’s a ballpoint pen in the room OR it could be completely innocent, and mean that I simply have a fixation and attachment to fine papers and office supplies. But you don’t know! I could be the queen of stationery kink, or just your average somewhat obsessive compulsive person who likes to hang out at Office Depot. 

You just don’t know.

Anyway, TANGENT. Enough about fetishes. Back to addiction.

For me, when I’m feeling dependent on something like coffee, when I feel it’s ruling me and affecting my personality negatively, I need distance. I go cold turkey. I went a full week this last time. In the past I’ve given it up for years, especially while pregnant and nursing. My addiction doesn’t rule me. I am stronger than a Starbucks triple grande two-equal latte.

*looks lustily at empty coffee pot*

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