I noticed something the last week or so, something that snuck up on me.

I’m sleeping at night.

I think my sleeping issues began a few weeks after Kelsey started school at the public school, when I started feeling unsure and unsafe. I’ve been waking up at 4 every morning. I wake up in a panic, go and check on the girls, then try to go back to sleep. I would seldom if ever get back to sleep after my wakefulness. And I was uncomfortable, like every muscle in my shoulders and neck were twitching and pulled tight. I never considered that it was stress. I figured I pulled something. But now I think most of that pain might be one-part arthritis in my collar bone from a childhood injury, and the rest may be stress.

It’s really no wonder I’ve been so wound up. After the first incident at her old school, when I found Kelsey standing out by the pick up line alone with no supervision, I’ve been paranoid about being even a few minutes late in picking her up. Like, severly paranoid. You know, sometimes when you run by the store to pick up milk and bread before school lets out, and your younger child has to go to the store bathroom, and of course she has to, errr, spend some time on the potty, and you end up having to race across town doing 70 so that you are there to pick up your child on time so that she doesn’t get snatched by some stranger?

*breathe*

And now, if I’m running a little late, I know that her teachers are still THERE, in the classroom, and that Kelsey will be there with them, or else she will be out playing on the playground, with supervision.

So, I’m sleeping once again. I still wake up at 4, go check on the girls. Listen to their sleepy breathing/snoring. But then I go back to sleep. And I sleep until the alarm goes off.

I feel RESTED. More able to deal with stress. My kid is safe when she’s in school.

And did I mention that she’s happy? But that’s the next post….

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